"Staying in Touch" Can be a Full Time Job

This week death claimed the body (not the spirit) of one of my cousins on my Dad’s side of the family.   I was so surprised and saddened to hear this news.  I hadn’t seen John for many, many years, but I have good memories of him.

• He spent time with our family often during summers when he was a kid.
• He, his brother and I sang together in church as the “Cousins Trio.”  I especially remember the song, “God Put a Rainbow in the Sky.”
• He always had a smile and time for everyone.
• He and his family moved to Mississippi and I only saw him occasionally after that.

Dave and I were in Florida this time last year visiting Dave’s Dad & family and we talked about driving over to Mississippi to see John and his family.  Unfortunately it didn’t work out.  His 76th birthday was last month and even though it’s marked on my calendar and I thought about him, I didn’t send a card. I didn’t even know he was sick and then I hear he’s gone.  

Why didn’t I just catch a flight from Orlando to Cleveland, MS…..even for just one day???

Even though I sent a birthday greeting by FB through his wife, why didn’t I send a birthday card or, better yet, call him?  

I think death automatically makes us look at the “what ifs” and “why didn’t I’s.”   That’s not a bad thing, but way too quickly we can move right back in the rut of our normal life and schedule and “staying in touch” can soon becomes a distant memory.

While this is still so fresh on my mind, I want to remind myself to express love to my family (and friends) while they’re still alive.  

• Remember birthdays, anniversaries and special occasions
• Use e-mails, texts and messaging to those who have it
• Send cards/letters/notes by mail - especially to older one who don’t use electronics
• Always express gratitude
• Be present and available
• Pray for them
• Give more smiles, hugs and “I love you’s.”
• Instead of just hitting “like” on FB, make more comments
• Don’t wait for someone else to make the first move
• Be generous with time & resources
• Small gifts or expressions of love…and cookies….can make a big difference
• Share pictures with family & friends who don’t live close
• Make more phone calls

Even though I wish i could have told John goodbye, I can still hear his laughter and southern drawl.  That makes me smile!   

My Mom's Seafood Casserole

We concluded our small group Bible study of “All In” by Matt Batterson, which I highly recommend, with dinner at our house.  Our weather is getting cooler so my Mom’s Seafood Casserole sounded like a good menu idea.  

My Mom’s been gone 6 years and 9 months, but I felt especially close to her as I was in the kitchen making her recipe, which was one of my favorites (next to her potato salad).  As I was chopping and adding ingredients, I thought back to Mom’s gift of hospitality.  She loved to have people over to share a meal.  It didn’t have to be fancy.  According to some old Virginia friends, she served the “best bologna sandwiches” ever.  Maybe that’s why I still love a good ole bologna and tomato sandwich.  I never remember anyone coming to our house without Mom offering them a drink or something to eat.  It didn’t matter to her if the house was in perfect order, she just loved people and loved having them in her home.  So much of her entertaining involved food. 

Mom died of ALS and toward the end she had a feeding tube in which I would feed her a formula three times a day.  All those meals she had cooked in her lifetime and at the end she couldn’t even eat.  At her last Thanksgiving meal I wanted her to get real food so we tried mashed potatoes and gravy but it was too thick to go through the syringe into her feeding tube.  We finally got the right consistency but only after we shot food through the syringe on the floor and ceiling.  Yes, the ceiling.   It was a mess to clean up (thanks to my son-in-law for cleaning it off the ceiling) but it wound up being a memorable evening of laughter and love.  She was surrounded by her family and I know that brought her much happiness.

When the temperature dipped below freezing at night (here in Fairbanks, AK) it was time to do something about the tomatoes & green pepper plants in the green house.  Unfortunately, it was about 9 pm before I remembered that freezing temps were predicted for that evening.  I was already dressed for bed, so I went out to the greenhouse in my pajamas and robe and carried a flashlight.  All the tomatoes were still green so I picked them with one hand while holding the flashlight in the other.  The green peppers were still fairly small and I didn’t want to pick them just yet so I took the whole potted plant inside. (It was amazing to see their growth in just a couple weeks being in the warmth of indoors.)  So when the recipe called for a green pepper, I picked a couple small ones off my plants sitting by the front window.  It doesn’t get any fresher than that.

Mom’s recipe calls for shrimp and crab, but I enjoy adding salmon as well.  When I need fresh salmon I usually call my son-in-law to see if he can spare some, or my neighbor who usually has a freezer full.  However, this time I purchased it at Fred Meyer ($9.99/lb).   The shrimp was $9.99/lb too, so this is definitely not a cheap dish to make unless you can get the salmon for free.  It does serve 8 to10  people though, so that winds up being fairly reasonable for each serving.

While the casserole baked I made a green salad.....romaine lettuce, baby spinach leaves, carrots and mushrooms.  I had purchased tomatoes, but I thought I’d check the green tomatoes I had brought inside a couple weeks earlier.   When I unwrapped the newspaper from around them I found the most beautiful ripe tomatoes.   I added fresh tomatoes to the salad only after I ate my fill.  If only I had some bologna I could have had a sandwich.   One of my new salad favorites is adding pomegranate seeds.  It gives a perfect touch of sweetness.   Also the pomegranate seeds along with the fresh ripe red tomatoes on a bed of dark green lettuce made for a beautiful, colorful salad.   

It was a beautiful evening of fellowship.  Good friends and good food are indeed a great combination.   I can definitely understand why it was one of my Mom’s favorite things.   

After our guests went home and the dishes were done, we closed the refrigerator door on leftover Seafood Casserole and carrot cake, which we would enjoy again another day.