Do You Trust Me?

This was a particularly difficult week (the details of which are too personal to share) which had escalated to the point that finally I went to my room alone and broke down sobbing. I prayed, “God, I need you to help me because if You don’t I don’t know what I’ll do.” I wept before God confessing my anger, hurt, and hopelessness. I told God that I needed to hear from Him. The question "Do you trust me?" kept echoing in my spirit. I turned to Psalm 107, which I had read just that morning, and found comfort in "...they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.” (Psalm 107:13-14)

I confessed to God that I really did want to trust Him more but that I really didn’t know how in my present state of mind and spirit. So, somewhat relieved I went on with my day.

The next afternoon, I went to the mailbox and in with all our other mail was a manila envelope from Foster Bell, a friend of ours who lives in Georgia. Inside was a piece of music which Foster noted he had come across a year or so ago but had only now gotten around to sending it, thinking I might be able to use it in our worship. The song was a medley combining the old hymn “Tis So Sweet To TRUST In Jesus” and Chris Tomlin’s song “Enough” which speaks of the sufficiency of God regardless of our circumstance.

As I read the words of the medley, my eyes filled with tears. Even before I had cried out to God, even before I had heard His voice whisper, “Do you trust me?,” even before I had confessed that I wanted to trust God more, He had sent a very real affirmation of His love and care for me through the song I received in the mail.

My Flowers are Dead...

My beautiful flowers are dead, except for a few hardy pansies and petunias. Now to pull up all the lifeless flowers and put all the pots and containers away for the winter. I remembered to bring my big hanging geranium plant inside before it got bit by frost. It still has lots of buds so hopefully I will be able to enjoy those blooms inside once it starts snowing outside. I can't believe I just said the "S" word!!!

One of my favorites this year were the red begonias that I usually don't have much luck with. However, this year I planted them in an area that only gets morning sun and they were beautiful. The sunflowers are always one of favorites to watch grow and bloom. It seems every year I plant a few more than the year before. My tallest sunflower hit 10' 6-3/4". My prize! I've never done anything with the seeds before, but this year I have the seeds drying....getting ready to roast sunflower seeds. If they don't turn out good, I'm sure the birds will still enjoy them.

It's also time to put away the outside swings and glidders, the hammock (my very favorite), chairs, water fountain, water hoses....anything that speaks of summer we have to put it away. September brings the beauty of yellow leaves, crisp, fresh air, sunny cloudless skies, but it also brings a sadness that summer is over. It's time to shut the front door, put my sandals away, bring out the jackets, socks and shoes.

At this time of the year I have to remind myself of the beauty of winter. The snow falls (and stays) and reflects all the light it sees, the Northern Lights put on their show, the trees become white and fluffy with snow. It is indeed a winter wonderful. And another good thing, my freezer is enlarged to my whole back porch! I've lived in Alaska 40 plus years, but I never look forward to winter. Once it arrives I'm fine.....I just never wish it would hurry up and get here; although many people do.

So, as I kiss summer goodbye and cordially greet winter, I know "there's coming a day" when the snow will once again be gone and I'll go out to the greenhouse and start planting flowers once again.

It reminds me that God is always faithful....."there's never been a night without a dawn" (David Baroni).

This 'n That.....

It's been awhile since I've been here, but not because I haven't had anything to write about. Some things I don't want to expose, other things are just too trivial, and mostly I just haven't taken the time to put thoughts and feelings into words.

I cannot believe that September arrives next week. Holy cow, summer went by entirely too fast. Somehow we've got to lower the speed limit on summer.

The Martinson house is coming along on schedule (as far as I know). The windows and doors are in except for 2 windows (where they brought in sheetrock) and the garage doors are being installed today. The vapor barrier has to be finished and then they start the sheetrock. The sheetrock has already been hung in the garage.....one room done. Check!

School has started and Andrew and Kaiden love Woodriver Elementary. I'm glad their transition to a new school is going so well. After about 14 years I'm involved with Moms-in-Touch (MIT) again. MIT is an international organization that's made up of small groups praying for individual schools. My group prays for the students and staff at Woodriver & U Park. It's good to be involved with them again.

I just finished reading "When Christians Get it Wrong" by Adam Hamilton. Even though I don't agree with everything, it's an eye opener, very thought provoking and motivating. Thanks, Geoff, for passing it along to us.

Yesterday was a week since daughter Jami's surgery (one ovary removed). She's not able to Jazzercise or Zoomba yet, but otherwise she's back to normal. Thank the Lord for her quick recovery.

My sister-in-law, Nancy, arrives on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to quality time with her and I know her visit will bless us all.

Last week my daughter-in-law, Nicole, asked me if I was okay because she thought I was acting a little "sullen". I replied that I indeed felt and was acting sullen.....for which I was sorry. Nicole then replied......"sometimes the stars don't align in life!" I thought about that and finally had to ask her what that meant. She explained, "it just means that sometimes things at home, work and church are a little off causing us to be a little off in other areas. So when my "stars don't align" I need to remember the verses that God has spoken into my heart last week:

• There will come a time when everything will return to normal and life will go on as usual. (A recap from Jeremiah 31-33)
• There will be heard once more the sounds of joy & gladness (Jer 33:11)
• ....there is hope for your future (Jer 31:17)

Our Rainbow

I've got to share about our Beth Moore Video Bible Study (Breaking FREE) last night.

Here's a few of the notes and comments that really spoke to our ladies. ( I hope you'll read to the end).

• God never allows or appoints a fire (trials & difficulties) unless He can bring beauty from the ashes.
• We cannot avoid fiery trials. Even faithful people have tremendous difficulties.
• What will we do with what has happened in our lives?
• One primary purpose of fiery trials is to surface the dross.
• The only discipline He allows are the ones which will bring our healing.
• Sometimes our fiery trials are absolutely necessary to fulfill our callings.
• We are better "healed" than just "well".
• Our passion will be birthed from our pain.

During the discussion following the video, the Holy Spirit ministered through our honesty, tears and desire to be "healed" (set free from our fiery trials). We discussed the beauty (or not seeing any beauty) from the ashes in our lives.

As we left the church it was raining. When I was almost home I saw the most beautiful, vivid rainbow.....it was actually a spiritual moment (I had to cry again). Several of the ladies from the class saw it and responded in the same way. I loved what Jami said. "On one side of the city there's a fire raging (literally) and in the middle of it all there's a beautiful rainbow." I felt like God sent that rainbow especially to remind US of God's presence and love.

I still feel his nearness today as I think back to our class and "our" rainbow.

Isa 61:3a

"...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes..."

"An unhappy woman usually needs a change of heart more than of circumstances."

(Beth Moore)

Good-bye June

I'm missing June (as in the month of June)....can't believe it's July already. Heading to Chena Lakes tomorrow for picnic and beach time. Hoping for sunshine!!

Some of June's Highlights:

• The trusses were up on the Martinson house the last day of June. The roof should be finished tomorrow!! It's fun to see how quickly their house is taking shape.
• We celebrated my Dad's 90th birthday with him. He enjoyed all those who dropped by to wish him a Happy Birthday and he received so many birthday cards and birthday wishes. I too enjoyed all the "memories" people shared with him.
• Charles Lamb, one of the boys from the Orphanage in Cleveland, TN, stopped by. What a great surprise!!! I haven't seen him in over 40 years. He and his wife are visiting Alaska and I'm so happy they looked us up. It was great to reminisce and "catch up". God bless them and protect them as they continue their travels through Alaska.
• Noel Cammack, one of my former piano students, visited and spoke last Sunday at LifePoint. He is still serving (7 years now) in Ireland as Worship and Youth Leader. He shared a video and slides of the work there in Port Laoise. I was blessed to hear his testimony and hear his heart for God. I think a seed to visit Ireland has been planted in my spirit. His parents were there as well and we appreciate their friendship and ministry so much.
• Things are going fine in the Welch/Covey/Martinson household. It seems we never catch up with the laundry, washing dishes, cooking meals, buying groceries and cleaning house, but that's our new normal.
• I have only one piano student this summer, which is working out just fine.
• I'm loving my window in the garage (our temporary bedroom). What a difference a 2x2 opening makes. I can now see outside, feel the breeze, see the trees, see the sunshine, hear the chimes and the rain. It makes me realize how important the simple things in life really are. Over the past month we've had to replace our microwave, a lamp in the living room, and our crock pot. If I could only have had one of those items, I would have choosen the window!!!!!
• Good-bye June, hello July!

Summer Solstice

I can't believe this is summer solstice weekend.....already.

21 hrs, 49 min, 15 sec of daylight today (6/19). This is a bitter-sweet weekend for me. There's lots of daylight, but I know that on Tuesday we'll start losing daylight. Even though it will be a gradual process, it's still a little sad.

I can't see any daylight in the garage (remember Dave and I are sleeping in the garage while the Martinson's are living with us). I haven't had any success yet, but I'm trying to think of a way to let some daylight in the garage. Any ideas, anyone?????

Tonight is the Midnight Sun Run - a 10k race starting at 10:00 p.m. I haven't participated in several years and Dave isn't running this year. Jami and Matt are walking and I'm dropping them off and picking them up. I'll probably hang around to watch the start of the race. It IS a beautiful sight seeing the "sea of people" running and walking by. Hope the sun keeps shining.

Monday night is the Solstice baseball game that starts at 10:30 p.m.....played with no lights. Thanks to Phil Barker and Phyllis Wright, Dave & I have tickets to attend. I've lived here 33 years and have never attended a game, let alone the Midnight Sun Game. This may be the beginning of something new for me.

Happy Summer Solstice to everyone and Happy Father's Day to my Dad, to Dave, Geoff, Matt and all you Father's.

Week's Review

Weather: Rainy with thunderstorms

New favorite iTouch game: Line Up 2

New favorite M&M's: Coconut

Latest Movie I viewed (rented on iTunes and watched on the Mac): The Spy Next Door (Funny)

Latest purchase: Microwave (our old one died).

VBS: Last Monday through Wednesday I helped with Vacation Bible School at LifePoint. I helped teach the 3 and 4 year's old.......4 little girls in my class each evening. They were so cute and could say "Zacchaeus" as good as I could. It was amazing how they could help tell the story and how well they could recite the memory verses. VBS is always so FUN, but very tiring.

Anniversary celebrated: Geoff (son) and Nicole celebrated their 13th wedding anniversary on June 7th. Hard to believe they've been married that long.

10th Birthday: On Thursday (6/10) our oldest grandson Andrew celebrated his 10th birthday. He's into double digits already. His favorite gifts were a PSP GO, a bean bag and gift cards for PSP games. It was fun celebrating with him.

The New House: The Martinson's house is taking shape. Exterior and interior walls are standing on the first floor. Today they're getting things ready to start putting joists and decking on the second floor. Hopefully the rain will hold off.....

Scrapbooking: I scrapbooked with friends Friday night. Actually I did a LITTLE digital scrapping, some knitting and mainly had fun hanging out with friends.

Births: My cousin Paulette's daughter (on my Mom's side) had a baby boy on June 4th.....Colton James Giles - born in Ohio.

Deaths: I just found out that my cousin, John Strike (on my Dad's side), passed away on May 1st from complications from a surgery he had April 4th. I think he was about 10 years older than me.

Favorite Bible verse this week: Zeph 3:17

God is with you.

He is mighty to save.

He will delight in you.

He will quiet you with His love.

He will rejoice over you with singing.