Choosing Gratitude

I attended the Farewell Avenue Christian Church's spring ladies retreat this weekend at the Princess Hotel. Nicole Welch and Ashley Lund also attended from LifePoint. The retreat theme was "Gratitude," taken from the book, "Choosing Gratitude - Your Journey to Joy," by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Here are some thoughts I carried home with me:

• Undeniable guilt + undeserved grace = unbridled gratitude.
• A grateful person is a humble person, while ingratitude reveals a proud heart.
• A grateful heart is God-centered and others-conscious, while an ungrateful person is self-centered and self-conscious.
• A grateful heart is a full heart, while an ungrateful heart is an empty one.
• People with grateful hearts are easily contented, while ungrateful people are subject to bitterness and discontent.
• A grateful heart will be revealed and expressed by thankful words, while an ungrateful heart will manifest itself in murmuring and complaining.
• Thankful people are refreshing, life-giving springs, while unthankful people pull others down with them into stagnant pools of their selfish, demanding unhappy ways.
• Gratitude - the fruit of a thousand choices.
• Choose gratitude. It's a discipline.
• Instigators of Ingratitude: unrealistic expectations, forgetfulness, entitlement, comparison and blindness to God's grace.
• We were encouraged to start a 30-day Gratitude Journal where we reflect on Scriptures of Thanksgiving and we list at least five things each day for which we're thankful.
• When sending a thank you note, consider the "who" (giver) and "why" more than the "what" (the gift). Don't just say "thank you for the gift", but express why the gift mattered to you.
• Take time to remember events in your life. Remember to be thankful.
• It takes intentional effort to be grateful.
• Ingratitude is a sin (and a tap root for other sins).
• Recognize, acknowledge and express thanks to God and others.
• Gratitude is a sure path to peace.
• Gratitude is a gauge of the heart.
• Gratitude is the will of God.
• Gratitude is a work of the Spirit.
• Gratitude reflects Jesus' heart.
• Gratitude gets us ready for heaven.
• Gratitude is an every day thing!
• I want to be more grateful.

Stretched

It's been four days since the kids moved into their new house. Even though I'm excited that we all have our own homes now, I have to admit I've experienced some withdrawal.

• It's very quiet around here....I miss the noise and laughter.
• I have to cook EVERY night (I miss Jami cooking every other night).
• Cooking for 3 is easier than cooking for 8....and the clean up is easier too. I think I came out better on that part.
• No more homework done around our dining room table.
• No more coats and boots left at the front door.
• No more dinner meals to take up to the property
• Less laundry
• The house is easier to keep clean
• Not as many interruptions (i.e Grandma, will you read me this book?)
• No more good night hugs and "I love you's" from the kids

The 9-months that the kids lived here stretched us. Once they left I thought everything would just go back to normal, but our normal has been all stretched out of shape. I feel a little lost. Now I'm wondering what to do with the space and resources we have. How can we be generous with what we've always considered normal. I don't want the stretch marks to go away.....enlarge my heart, O Lord.

Happy 65th Birthday!

I recently celebrated my 65th birthday. My oh my, where did the years go? Well, let's see.....

• 47 years has passed since I graduated from high school.
• 45 years that I've lived in Alaska.
• I've been married 40 years,
• have been a mother for 35 years,
• and a grandmother for 11 years.
• 55 years since I took my first piano lesson.
• 31 years that Dave & I have pastored in Fairbanks. Okay, he's pastored and I've been along for the ride.

This week a friend posted a few pictures of me on facebook. Pictures that were taken back when I was in high school. I recognize myself through my memories, but I don't look like that picture anymore. The smile is about the same, but that girl was very slim, her glasses were scary and what was up with that hair? Sixty-five years of life can't help but change a person's appearance and it also changes a person's heart. Am I.....

• ...more compassionate and merciful?
• ...fulfilling my God given purpose?
• ...loving the Lord above everything else?
• ...seeking excellence?
• ...listening to God and being obedient?
• ...still growing and "living" life?

With each new picture taken, my glasses may get thicker and my hair will turn gray, but I always want the love of Christ to shine through in my smile.

I Want My Own Copy of This Book.

I finished reading "Doing Life Differently - The Art of Living with Imagination" by Luci Swindoll, which I borrowed from my friend Joan Riggs. I enjoyed the book so much that I want my own copy. Sorry, Joan, you may never get this book back. Just kidding....I'll buy my own.

I hate to read a borrowed book because I can't mark and write in the margins, and this book gives you lots of space to write. I did write lots of notes in a journal, but when I get my own copy I'll have to read it again just so I can mark it up. Do you do that too?

This book was one I just couldn't put down. It motivated and inspired the daylights out of me. Wow, I feel so energized! Here are some areas that jumped out at me. If these do not make sense to you you'll just have to read the book. I strongly encourage you to do just that anyway.

This book makes me want to.....

• Memorize more Scripture. (Phyllis, I want to get the book you recommended: "100 Bible Verses" by Robert J. Morgan.)
• Laugh much, much more than I do.
• Dream big. Dream it, think it, plan it.
• Write things down, take notes, journal: report, interpret, reflect, question, predict, unload, praise, compare, cry, laugh, draw (maybe doodle is more correct in my case), and remember.
• Drink in life and savor every drop.
• Quit letting circumstances stop life or put it on hold. Turn them into an adventure.
• Visit the art galleries in town.
• Dust off my piano sonata's and play more classics. Practice more.
• Let beautiful strains of music fill my home more often. Don't be afraid to cry, laugh or dance with the music.
• Be more open to "what if" and "why not", rather than "if only" or "why me."
• Open the door, step, out, and trust God. Never be afraid. Never, ever be afraid.
• Review all the ways God has brought me through life - - adventures, straights and narrows, good times and bad - - and how He has continually cared for me.
• Recognize how God is constantly expanding my heart.....showing me new ways to trust Him.
• Call Alaska Airlines and make a reservation.
• Be more generous.
• Send more post cards (or notes).
• Enjoy the gifts God has given me.
• Deal with the changes that come with aging and enjoy the gift of years.

Happy New Year in Hawaii

Happy 2011.

At noon on January 1st, Dave and I met Wayne and Karen Heimer at the airport and flew to Hawaii. At the Fairbanks airport Wayne talked to a friend who happened to work for Alaska Airlines and we were all upgraded to first class from Fairbanks to Anchorage. Sweet!!! Out of Anchorage the turbulence was terrible (with a capital "T") until we leveled off and it gradually got smoother for the rest of the six hour flight. We landed in Honolulu after dark (saw a beautiful sunset from the plane), spent the night and continued on to the big island the next morning. Final destination: Kona.

As we landed on the big island, it looked pretty desolate....so much lava everywhere, but as drove away from the airport there were palm trees, beautiful flowers, the smell of Hawaii and .....Christmas decorations. I've got to tell you, those Christmas decorations looked so out of place......so wrong! I'm used to a white Christmas. How in the world can you celebrate Christmas when the grass is green and the temperature is 80 degrees? It did seem weird too that people were wishing us "Happy New Year." New Year's and cold weather go together in my world. I had a terrible time adjusting my "clock".

It was a great week of relaxation and a change of pace from home.

• There were great walking paths around the resort area with a good view of the ocean.
• Reading by the pool.
• Hot tubing.
• Toured the island.
• Visited the volcano, watched it vent steam, and smelled the sulfur. Now lets get the heck out of here!!
• Ate breakfast every morning on the deck. We even ate scrambled eggs with ahi tuna one morning with Wayne. It was actually very good.
• Walked on the black sands beach and on lots of lava.
• Lunch on the beach. People watching on the beach. Walking on the beach. I love the beach!
• Observed turtles sleeping on the rocks in the water and on the beach. There were signs posted to stay 20 feet away from turtles on the beach. I brought home several Christmas turtle ornaments for our tree this year.....and they were on sale!
• Shopped at some of Karen's favorite Thrift Stores.
• Bought souvenirs for the grandkids.
• Tried to stay out of the way of all the gecko's.
• Yummm....ate lots of fresh pineapple.
• Enjoyed the beautiful flowers. The plumeria flower and fragrance is one of my favorites. I was surprised to see poinsettia's growing wild in Hawaii and on such big bushes. I've only seen them grow in pots and sold in the grocery stores and nurseries. :)
• Enjoyed the warmth at night. We're not used to dark and warm at the same time..
• Went to the movies and saw "True Grit" and "The Tourist". I recommend "True Grit" just for the music. How many old blue book hymns can you identify throughout the movie? I've got to buy the soundtrack and hope I eventually find the printed arrangements.
• Thanks to the Heimer's for the invite and for a great time.

On the flight home, I did wear a light jacket but I refused to put my socks and shoes back on. I wore my sandals and capri's home. When we boarded the plane in Anchorage, we had to walk outside to board so my toes got snow on them. The same thing happened in Fairbanks, but Jami met us at the airport with a warm car.....no frost bite experienced. ha My sandals and summer clothes are put away and I'm back to boots and a heavy coat, but a week in paradise was wonderful.

It's hard adjusting back to cold weather, but we ARE gaining daylight. Only a couple months until March and when that gets here there's no place I'd rather be than HERE.

Everything Changed

I'm sitting by the tree, listening to Christmas music....just me and my Mac (okay, I'm not totally by myself....Grandpa's sitting on the couch).

The tenants in our duplex next door bought a house and moved out. We'll certainly miss them but we now have the opportunity to spread out our family of 8 (plus the dog). The Martinson's have moved next door. Dave and I have moved out of the garage back into our bedroom. The fake wall with a window that Dave & Matt installed in the garage so I could still see daylight this summer has been removed, the carpet returned to the Heimers, Dave's computer and make shift office has been returned to the house and the car now claims it's rightful spot. The garage actually made a very comfortable bedroom even though it did get a little chilly when it dropped to 30 below. I'll always remember the summer and fall we slept in the garage (and not in a bad way).

The room the boys vacated used to be a TV room for Grandpa. We had moved the TV in his room along with his very comfy recliner when the Martinson's moved in and that should continue to work okay....especially since around September he decided he didn't want to watch TV anymore. He sleeps in his room, but spends the rest of his time in the living room. So, the vacated bedroom has now become my office. I moved in a desk and bookcase. That's where I'll scrapbook, conduct Avon & Kat's Keys business and maybe just hide out....I'm excited to have my own space. Now I can clear out a few plastic drawers of files and stuff that I've had sitting in the corner of the dining room because the dining room table has served as my work space and desk for too long.

Things change.....

That reminds me of a new Christmas song I've heard this last week (my new favorite), "Everything Changed" by Eddie Kirkland. Free download at http://northpointmusic.org/christmas/

"On a night like this

On a broken road

She is far from sleep

She is far from home

For a baby's cries

Tear the still of night

She wonders why

The future was bright and clear

She planned for a wedding day

Her daddy would hold back tears

Giving her hand away

Now all her hope and fear

In a cradle lay

Cause a baby came and everything changed.

On a night like this

Many years ago

As she held him close

She had come to know

That a mother's heart

Could not let him go

And she now knows why

The future was bright and clear

With hope and a promise made

The light of the world was near

Choirs of angels sing

Heaven's exalted king

In a manger lay

Cause a baby came and everything changed

When our dreams grow dim

And our hearts grow cold

He is never far

From our broken soul

Gloria, our God is with us

Gloria, He came to save

Mercy and love

Now for every generation

For the Savior came and everything changed."

Do You Trust Me?

This was a particularly difficult week (the details of which are too personal to share) which had escalated to the point that finally I went to my room alone and broke down sobbing. I prayed, “God, I need you to help me because if You don’t I don’t know what I’ll do.” I wept before God confessing my anger, hurt, and hopelessness. I told God that I needed to hear from Him. The question "Do you trust me?" kept echoing in my spirit. I turned to Psalm 107, which I had read just that morning, and found comfort in "...they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.” (Psalm 107:13-14)

I confessed to God that I really did want to trust Him more but that I really didn’t know how in my present state of mind and spirit. So, somewhat relieved I went on with my day.

The next afternoon, I went to the mailbox and in with all our other mail was a manila envelope from Foster Bell, a friend of ours who lives in Georgia. Inside was a piece of music which Foster noted he had come across a year or so ago but had only now gotten around to sending it, thinking I might be able to use it in our worship. The song was a medley combining the old hymn “Tis So Sweet To TRUST In Jesus” and Chris Tomlin’s song “Enough” which speaks of the sufficiency of God regardless of our circumstance.

As I read the words of the medley, my eyes filled with tears. Even before I had cried out to God, even before I had heard His voice whisper, “Do you trust me?,” even before I had confessed that I wanted to trust God more, He had sent a very real affirmation of His love and care for me through the song I received in the mail.