This was a particularly difficult week (the details of which are too personal to share) which had escalated to the point that finally I went to my room alone and broke down sobbing. I prayed, “God, I need you to help me because if You don’t I don’t know what I’ll do.” I wept before God confessing my anger, hurt, and hopelessness. I told God that I needed to hear from Him. The question "Do you trust me?" kept echoing in my spirit. I turned to Psalm 107, which I had read just that morning, and found comfort in "...they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.” (Psalm 107:13-14)
I confessed to God that I really did want to trust Him more but that I really didn’t know how in my present state of mind and spirit. So, somewhat relieved I went on with my day.
The next afternoon, I went to the mailbox and in with all our other mail was a manila envelope from Foster Bell, a friend of ours who lives in Georgia. Inside was a piece of music which Foster noted he had come across a year or so ago but had only now gotten around to sending it, thinking I might be able to use it in our worship. The song was a medley combining the old hymn “Tis So Sweet To TRUST In Jesus” and Chris Tomlin’s song “Enough” which speaks of the sufficiency of God regardless of our circumstance.
As I read the words of the medley, my eyes filled with tears. Even before I had cried out to God, even before I had heard His voice whisper, “Do you trust me?,” even before I had confessed that I wanted to trust God more, He had sent a very real affirmation of His love and care for me through the song I received in the mail.